Top Thirty Ways to Know You are a Termite Hockey Parent

You hockey parents... you know who you are! But just in case you are wondering, my incredibly funny, hockey-loving, even-broke-his-leg-playing husband, Marc Minish, wrote this "Top 30" list. It's pretty spot on for the youngest hockey league in Huntsville (aka The Termites), though I'm pretty sure these ring true in hockey cities all over the country.

Photo credit: Shawn Levy

1.    You have used duct tape to keep your kid’s hockey socks from falling down.
2.    You have ever made an emergency U-turn because you accidentally left an elbow pad at the Huntsville Iceplex.
3.    You have ever broken a stick with the tailgate of your minivan.
4.    U8 players look really big to you.
5.   You have ever had to air out your entire laundry room because you forgot to unpack your kid’s gear so it could dry.

6.    You have shamelessly used your smartphone to amuse younger siblings for an hour during practice.
7.    You know, off the top of your head, the price of a “Whole Pizza Family Combo” at the rink grill (extra points if you comment on this blog post with the correct price).
8.    You can recite verbatim the Herb Brooks’ pre-game “Miracle” speech.

9.    You have ever made excuses for why you cannot buy old NHL playing cards in the gear store.
10.    You have wondered why the Iceplex time schedule lists all of the times using the half hour.
11.    You ever wondered how they came up with the names for Termites, Mites and Squirts.
12.    You have ever driven with the windows down in the dead of winter because your kid’s gear stinks so badly.
13.    You have ever purchased the same water bottle five times in a single season because they keep magically disappearing.
14.    You have ever wondered what in the heck is “Sharks and Minnows.”

15.    You own multiple Little Preds and Sherwood ambidextrous hockey sticks.
16.    You have ever given evil looks to another parent because their kid keeps tripping yours.
17.    Your 5-year-old can spell Zamboni.

18.    None of your children can play chess because they get confused over how to “check” their opponent.
19.    You have made the conscious decision that the jersey doesn’t HAVE to be washed after every practice.
20.    You have ever spent more money on a pair of skates than on your own shoes.
21.    You are on a first name basis with Liz, Martin and Mike.
22.    Your dining room table serves as a gear drying rack.
23.    You and your kids sing along to “Charles Pitman is the way to go! Dial 5-3-3-5-0-0-0.”

24.    You constantly forget to bring your $2 refill cup to the VBCC.
25.    If you or anyone in your family has ever won a game of Chuck-A-Puck.
26.    You have “liberated” foam red Chuck-A-Pucks all over your house.
27.    You have ever bought PVC joints at the hardware store to fix a mini hockey net.
28.    You can name all of the characters from “Mighty Ducks.”
29.    You got irritated because your Termite didn’t get enough double shifts during a game.
30.    You secretly keep score.